The "Inner Game" of Networking: How Lawyers Can Build Confidence and Connections (Ep. 138)

Written By Adedayo Adekunle

For law firm owners with their sights set on growth, the road to winning more high-value clients doesn’t lie in aggressive selling, it’s about networking smarter. On this episode of The Lawyer Millionaire Podcast, host Darren Wurz welcomes networking expert Nancy Fox for an insightful conversation about building meaningful connections, boosting confidence, and leveraging technology to advance your practice.

Why Networking Matters More Than Ever for Law Firm Owners

Once upon a time, business development for lawyers was all about in-person events and word-of-mouth referrals. Today, post-pandemic, the landscape has shifted. Virtual networking is not only accepted in-fact it’s expected. And for law firm owners, the ability to nurture professional relationships from anywhere is a game-changer.

Nancy Fox emphasized that networking is now even more critical: “If you don’t network, you give yourself a disadvantage because everyone else is out there.” Thanks to tools like LinkedIn and Zoom, law firm owners can cultivate powerful networks beyond their local market, opening doors to high-value opportunities. The message is clear: whether virtual or in-person, networking is an essential growth engine for any ambitious law firm.

Challenging Common Myths About Legal Networking

One persistent misconception is the idea that others are uninterested or even reluctant to connect with you. Nancy dispelled this myth immediately—people are generally grateful when you initiate a conversation. By stepping forward and showing genuine interest, you take the pressure off others and position yourself as a leader.

Darren shared his own journey from science teacher to law firm business owner, revealing that initial fears of “not fitting in” are universal even CEOs feel them! The takeaway? Every professional walks into networking events with some nervousness. Overcoming your inner doubts and focusing on curiosity opens the door to authentic connections.

Mastering the Inner and Outer Game of Networking

Effective networking isn’t just about tactics, it is also about mindset. As Nancy explains, “The inner game has a bigger impact than the tactics and techniques.” To really succeed in the legal industry, it’s key to understand both your own motivations (the inner game) and the techniques you use (the outer game).

How can law firm owners do this? Leverage publicly available information (including AI tools) to research contacts before meetings—review their professional history, interests, and values. Then, approach interactions from a place of curiosity and generosity. Nancy’s rule: focus on the other person for the first 30 minutes and put your own needs aside. This genuine interest naturally builds trust, which paves the way for future collaboration or business.

Simple, Actionable Steps for Building Legal Networks

  1. Curiosity First. Approach networking as an opportunity to learn about others—not just pitch your firm. Ask questions like, “What are you working on these days?” This opens up honest, business-oriented dialogue.

  2. Follow-Up Matters. After a successful conversation, nurture the relationship with thoughtful follow-ups—send a resource, share a book recommendation, or simply check in.

  3. Be Generous. Offer value without expecting an immediate return. Share an opportunity, connect someone with a useful contact, or give insight from your area of legal expertise.

  4. Select the Right Events. Be strategic. Choose networking venues where your ideal clients or referral sources spend time. Focus your efforts where they’ll produce the greatest results.

  5. Leverage Technology. Use LinkedIn and AI-powered research tools to dig deeper into contacts’ backgrounds before meetings—this positions you to ask meaningful questions and build rapport quickly.

These tactics are proven to help law firm owners create genuine connections that can lead to lasting business partnerships—and high-value client wins.

The Role of Luck, Preparation, and Generosity in Business Growth

Success in legal business development isn’t always about skill alone; sometimes, it comes down to being in the right place at the right time. But, as Darren reminded listeners, “Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.” By preparing—through thoughtful research and intentional relationship building—you increase your chances of encountering that game-changing opportunity.

Regular follow-ups with past and present contacts are key. As Nancy advises, “Stay in touch forever.” Even a brief email or LinkedIn message can rekindle a relationship and lead to new referrals, lasting partnerships, or unexpected business opportunities.

Conclusion

Networking isn’t just a box to check—it’s an ongoing process of curiosity, generosity, and intentional preparation. By focusing on genuine relationships and smart strategies, law firm owners can unlock new avenues for growth, impact, and financial freedom. Remember: your network is your net worth.

Resources:

 

Connect with Darren Wurz:

 

Connect with Nancy Fox:

 

About Nancy Fox:

Nancy Fox is a former corporate executive who launched her coaching and training business in 1999. She has trained and coached hundreds of  professionals and firms in targeted networking, rainmaking, and business development.​​

Focused on helping clients win the inner and outer game of practice growth and client attraction, her approach marries unique strategy with improving the mindset of professionals and understanding their client's. 

She has trained, coached or spoken at:

Citrin Cooperman                            Holthouse Carlin (HCVT)

Grant Thornto                                   Vorys, Sater, Seymour & Pease

Southwestern Law School             CPAmerica

Sheppard Mullin                              NY State Society of CPAs

Green Hasson & Janks                    Michigan State Society of CPAs

Markham Norton                              Legal Marketing Association

​Moore Global                                    Association of Accounting Marketing

Roetzel & Andress                           AXA Financial Advisors

                                     

​Nancy has hosted many networking events, is a community builder, keynote speaker, and the author of "Network Like A Fox: A Targeted Approach To Building Successful Business Relationships In Person & Online" and "Direct Access: 5 Surefire Ways to Get Meetings With SMB Decision Makers".

Adedayo Adekunle
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